Well Christmas is only a day away but it hardly feels that way. With all the stress and chaos that's been surrounding these past few months, it's been really hard to stop and get in on all the Christmas frenzy and mayhem. I hope that at least on Christmas eve I'll feel a bit jollier than I have been. It just seems like there is no real time to stop and do shit that I wanna do. Every time I get a free second, I'm flooded by thoughts of obligations, due dates, shit hanging over my head to do. So the only real free time I get is when I'm asleep, other wise I'm busy pleasing everyone else. I know I sound emo teenage girl esque but I don't really care. I'm tired and ready for vacation. I just want to relax and have some fun, read, and eat.
While I'm here venting and what not, I want to write a little ode to an old chum of mine, Eric. This year, Eric has been incessantly pestering me with his smug I'm better that everyone attitude and his pretentiousness. It bothers me a lot. Every time he opens his mouth in class I class I want to throw a desk at his dumb face. So, I tell him I hate him, I yell at him to stop talking when he says dumb, unnecessary comments, and yes sometimes I do mock him for other reasons. I do it because I care. I care that he is in my life. I care that he bothers me to no end. He adds unnecessary aggravation to my already aggravating life. So today he decides to "confront me" about our interactions. I say I just don't want to talk to him. He keeps at me. So I keep ignoring him. I certainly have better things to do with my time then to think about Eric Nemerich. I really do. And next year, when I go to school somewhere else, I wont ever see him. And you know what, I'm grateful for that. Eric, go away from me. The end.
That being said, I got into college!!! I cant believe I forgot to mention that earlier. I got into Green Mountain in Vermont, a school where I can read and study in peace, hang out with quite hippies, ski(something I miss doing), and go hiking. Oh and I can work on a farm as my work study. Dreamy. So yay, at least I know I'm going somewhere! I've wanted to go there for a while so it's kinda surreal that I actually got in.
If I dont post before Xmas, have a great, happy, Eric free Xmas!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Desire is the fire...
So I'm done done applying to college. I just have to wait. And wait. And wait. I just wanna be done with high school, real bad. I go there everyday and I'm just so done with all the petty shit, all the lame ass hats who wont even do anything useful after graduation. Caw!
I've been reading a lot more poetry lately, specifically from my postmoderns' book and more specifically Jack Kerouac and Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I've fallen in love with American poetry, it's so real to me somehow. But sometimes it kinda seems like I have a love hate relationship with poetry. I love reading it, and I like to think writing it is one way for me to express myself. But then I sit down with my keys ready to be punched at or my pen ready to scribe some great piece of beauty and symbolism. You know what comes out? Nada. Maybe I should smoke a doobie or something. I dunno. For now I'll just keep reading and enjoying other people's work; their woes, troubles, emotions, and sometimes fetishes( John Donne) lol.
I made a perty picture in art today! I wanna gold sticker considering I've been in art for the whole year and have not completed anything. I've been acting as McColl's special helper because apparently he's too sp-ed to manage a bunch of other sp-ed kids from horizons... and Coco. But even after dealing with those abject failures in photo believe it or not I still want to be a real teacher. I just cant wait. It's hard to explain. Maybe it has to do with my fascination with people and how we all exist in society.
Oh people are so interesting.
I've been reading a lot more poetry lately, specifically from my postmoderns' book and more specifically Jack Kerouac and Lawrence Ferlinghetti. I've fallen in love with American poetry, it's so real to me somehow. But sometimes it kinda seems like I have a love hate relationship with poetry. I love reading it, and I like to think writing it is one way for me to express myself. But then I sit down with my keys ready to be punched at or my pen ready to scribe some great piece of beauty and symbolism. You know what comes out? Nada. Maybe I should smoke a doobie or something. I dunno. For now I'll just keep reading and enjoying other people's work; their woes, troubles, emotions, and sometimes fetishes( John Donne) lol.
I made a perty picture in art today! I wanna gold sticker considering I've been in art for the whole year and have not completed anything. I've been acting as McColl's special helper because apparently he's too sp-ed to manage a bunch of other sp-ed kids from horizons... and Coco. But even after dealing with those abject failures in photo believe it or not I still want to be a real teacher. I just cant wait. It's hard to explain. Maybe it has to do with my fascination with people and how we all exist in society.
Oh people are so interesting.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Lalala I'm in a new phase
SO, I sent out my college apps tonight. Enough said? Yeah, 6 schools in one night. I sent away my personal info, my ssn, and my money to 6 schools with 1 button click. My future now hangs in the balance, in the hands on 6 different schools. As MOgren would say "Ack!" Yeah so that was stressful as everyone knows. Now, like everyone else, I wait. I sit and wait. God what a torturous process.
College bull aside, it's Christmas time once again. Too bad it's bogged down by lack of money, time, snow, or stress management. I still have to go buy some presents and such. I'm a bad shopper and need help doing so. Anyone wanna help? I didn't think so :)I just want some more time.. this whole Xmas thing comes and goes too quickly..or not fast enough. I don't mean to sound emo cuz I actual love Christmas time, I love snow, I love the food and the trees and the presents and the coming together to be joyous and stuff. I love the concept. An now when this time rolls in I get nostalgic and think about how this time last ear Tara and I were in courting phase.. I took her hiking at the Supply Pond, we went to the Fantasy of Lights, we went to the Book Barn and to the movies and diner, and then we became a couple. I think it's my new favorite thing about Christmas. I know you'll all barf when I say that she was and will always be the best Christmas gift that I could receive, even better than the mini fridge. So yeah, not all emo.
Oh and I almost forgot, I've started doing yoga. I love it. I feel so relaxed and flexible and my posture is better and my digestion is better, I'm more centered, calm and it's great. I want a yoga mat now.
Goodnight everyone :)
College bull aside, it's Christmas time once again. Too bad it's bogged down by lack of money, time, snow, or stress management. I still have to go buy some presents and such. I'm a bad shopper and need help doing so. Anyone wanna help? I didn't think so :)I just want some more time.. this whole Xmas thing comes and goes too quickly..or not fast enough. I don't mean to sound emo cuz I actual love Christmas time, I love snow, I love the food and the trees and the presents and the coming together to be joyous and stuff. I love the concept. An now when this time rolls in I get nostalgic and think about how this time last ear Tara and I were in courting phase.. I took her hiking at the Supply Pond, we went to the Fantasy of Lights, we went to the Book Barn and to the movies and diner, and then we became a couple. I think it's my new favorite thing about Christmas. I know you'll all barf when I say that she was and will always be the best Christmas gift that I could receive, even better than the mini fridge. So yeah, not all emo.
Oh and I almost forgot, I've started doing yoga. I love it. I feel so relaxed and flexible and my posture is better and my digestion is better, I'm more centered, calm and it's great. I want a yoga mat now.
Goodnight everyone :)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Tonight everything is lowball
I've been thinking about the future almost daily. Lame sounding? Sure. But it's true, where am I going to end up in 4 or 5 years from now? I'll probable move back home and look for a job. But I want more than that. I want a home of my own, even if it's small and lame. I want to start being a real adult. I mean I already pay bills, have a job(a cushy one, but a job nevertheless), drive everywhere, and pay for a bunch of stuff on my own. I've been applying to colleges with little help from my parents and I mean, I think I can handle the so called "real world" that's been looming over my head for years.
I might have just listened to the same song two times in a row. I dunno.
I kinda had a mini meltdown a few days ago. It was weird. My mind just lost it's attachment to reality. I crawled into my room, under the covers, and cried. It was so different. I've been able to handle stress pretty well my whole life but the other night I felt that I might just spontaneously burst in the middle of my kitchen if I didn't go down to my room and just sit alone. Before I went to my room I made an announcement to my family... one member especially. I said that (this person) has no fucking sense of reality, of what the real world is like. People wont bend around your wishes and wants after you leave your safety bubble of our house behind. It just doesn't happen that way. I knew that, like always, my words fell on deaf(and dumb) ears. So after talking about my sister, my mom and dad, about colleges and financial aid and working and my report card and my chores for the week and stuff, I just went to my room and cried. Call me a girl but let me tell you, after I sat there and cried, I felt something. I felt like someone had clicked the refresh button on my mind. I felt okay. I continued to sit in my room, watch tv, some porn, listen to music, buy a cd on itunes, and go to sleep. It was something new and different. But now I just go about my beeswax and that's okay.
Now I just need to finish and apply to college and get into Elms or Keene or Green Mountain and then I can breath easy and finish senior year.
Then I can get smart and get my degree and get a job and a house and stuff and live happily ever after, right?
Sure. Doesn't sound too hard. One day at a time and so on.
I'm listening to Phoenix and I'm enjoying a night of Sean time. See ya.
I might have just listened to the same song two times in a row. I dunno.
I kinda had a mini meltdown a few days ago. It was weird. My mind just lost it's attachment to reality. I crawled into my room, under the covers, and cried. It was so different. I've been able to handle stress pretty well my whole life but the other night I felt that I might just spontaneously burst in the middle of my kitchen if I didn't go down to my room and just sit alone. Before I went to my room I made an announcement to my family... one member especially. I said that (this person) has no fucking sense of reality, of what the real world is like. People wont bend around your wishes and wants after you leave your safety bubble of our house behind. It just doesn't happen that way. I knew that, like always, my words fell on deaf(and dumb) ears. So after talking about my sister, my mom and dad, about colleges and financial aid and working and my report card and my chores for the week and stuff, I just went to my room and cried. Call me a girl but let me tell you, after I sat there and cried, I felt something. I felt like someone had clicked the refresh button on my mind. I felt okay. I continued to sit in my room, watch tv, some porn, listen to music, buy a cd on itunes, and go to sleep. It was something new and different. But now I just go about my beeswax and that's okay.
Now I just need to finish and apply to college and get into Elms or Keene or Green Mountain and then I can breath easy and finish senior year.
Then I can get smart and get my degree and get a job and a house and stuff and live happily ever after, right?
Sure. Doesn't sound too hard. One day at a time and so on.
I'm listening to Phoenix and I'm enjoying a night of Sean time. See ya.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
My KEYS are BACK!
My dad, my hero, my savior, found my keys in the leaf pile in the woods at Coco's house. I was amazed, filled with happiness and relief and gratitude. I lurve my pops.
Coco's blogging again! My little fagilla (and Jew) is a blogger once more. I have to say, even though I talk to him daily it's nice to read what he really wants to say but sometimes cant. I know how that goes. I feel like I can write an essay that says all the stuff I'm thinking in class and while I read but am just too bleh to say out loud. Weirdness, I know.
I think I want to learn how to paint pictures. I dunno, I'm feeling creative. The only problem with art and me is that over the past few months I've become more of a uniform, organized person in terms of shapes, words, writing style, etc. It's weird for me cuz I've always fancied myself a sort of ah who cares kinda guy but now I'm very, OCD ish. Not full on but it's just that I know what I want. Anyway, I'm going to try painting along w/ the photography to try and offset the stress and craziness that surrounds my daily being. Ah 2009, end soon, plz.
I'm going nighty night now. I'm on the couch for the 5th night while Tara hides out in my room away from her swine flu ridden domicile. Bleh. Cya!
Coco's blogging again! My little fagilla (and Jew) is a blogger once more. I have to say, even though I talk to him daily it's nice to read what he really wants to say but sometimes cant. I know how that goes. I feel like I can write an essay that says all the stuff I'm thinking in class and while I read but am just too bleh to say out loud. Weirdness, I know.
I think I want to learn how to paint pictures. I dunno, I'm feeling creative. The only problem with art and me is that over the past few months I've become more of a uniform, organized person in terms of shapes, words, writing style, etc. It's weird for me cuz I've always fancied myself a sort of ah who cares kinda guy but now I'm very, OCD ish. Not full on but it's just that I know what I want. Anyway, I'm going to try painting along w/ the photography to try and offset the stress and craziness that surrounds my daily being. Ah 2009, end soon, plz.
I'm going nighty night now. I'm on the couch for the 5th night while Tara hides out in my room away from her swine flu ridden domicile. Bleh. Cya!
Monday, November 9, 2009
BLah bLah BLoG
The word stress doesn't even begin to describe the feelings that are brewing the the coffee I need to be drinking.
I. Am. So. Done. With. This. Year.
There is just so much shit going on at once that my brain isn't equipped to handle. I cant even think clearly anymore.
I need someone/thing to come into my life, take the stress and work that goes along with college and my future and put it in fast forward for like 4 years. Then I'll be happy. It scares me to death thinking and planning where I'll be next year, 4 years, 5 years, 6 years from now. I don't know. It's all foreign to me. I've lived in the same town for my whole life. I've had most of the same friends, gone to the same places in town, had the same job, for a long time. Now I'm told I have to just walk away from it if I want to be a success. I do want to be a success but I also want to slow down a bit, take it at my own glacial pace. Then I can know what needs to be done.
Deep breaths.
Slow down. There are 8 trillion words working their way into one thought bubble at once. I cant breath.
Slow.
Slower.
Ahhhh.
That'll do.
I'm held in her nest. I've calmed instantly. I'm high off of her essence. It too is foreign. But this newness is welcomed with open sores, open heart, and open soul.
I'm okay. Just tired, overwhelmed, nervous, stressed, pissy, angsty, and emotional. Also known as an 18 year old living in middle class America with middle class petty drama bull.
Next year will transform my whole being. For the greater good of my sanity.
I hope.
G'night!
I. Am. So. Done. With. This. Year.
There is just so much shit going on at once that my brain isn't equipped to handle. I cant even think clearly anymore.
I need someone/thing to come into my life, take the stress and work that goes along with college and my future and put it in fast forward for like 4 years. Then I'll be happy. It scares me to death thinking and planning where I'll be next year, 4 years, 5 years, 6 years from now. I don't know. It's all foreign to me. I've lived in the same town for my whole life. I've had most of the same friends, gone to the same places in town, had the same job, for a long time. Now I'm told I have to just walk away from it if I want to be a success. I do want to be a success but I also want to slow down a bit, take it at my own glacial pace. Then I can know what needs to be done.
Deep breaths.
Slow down. There are 8 trillion words working their way into one thought bubble at once. I cant breath.
Slow.
Slower.
Ahhhh.
That'll do.
I'm held in her nest. I've calmed instantly. I'm high off of her essence. It too is foreign. But this newness is welcomed with open sores, open heart, and open soul.
I'm okay. Just tired, overwhelmed, nervous, stressed, pissy, angsty, and emotional. Also known as an 18 year old living in middle class America with middle class petty drama bull.
Next year will transform my whole being. For the greater good of my sanity.
I hope.
G'night!
Monday, September 7, 2009
It's my 1 year (sorta) Blogaversary!
That's right, I can make up words too! Anywhoosies, it has been a year since I made this blog o awesomeness. Looking back at some of the posts, I think to myself "Wtf was I on?" and "I really need a life." I can say that since I started this blog, some cool and different things have happened in my life. Here's a list so y'all can read it easier:
1. I'm now 17
2. I am no longer single :)
3. I lost 30 lbs (not on purpose... I had the flu for a month and couldnt hold my food)
4. I got a mini fridge
5. I went to Disney
6. I had an awful year in AP Fail (I mean Bio)
7. I went to Salem and Concord and Mystic and a bunch of other places
8. I got closer with all my friends
9. I might be a better writer (maybe)
10. I went to prom with the most purtiest date
If I didnt include anything important, PLEASE remind me. I have the memory of an 80 year old sometimes.
School isnt that bad this year... yet. I hate, hate, hate physics with all my soul. It sucks. On the bright side, I love English even more, AP style. AP, along with all my other English classes, has really helped me feel confident about wanting to be an English teacher after college. I've known this for a while, but now it's with a lot less apprehension. I do feel a little stressed/ overwhelmed with all the other shit we as seniors need to do. I still have to retake the SATs, do the ACTs, do my senior ex, apply to colleges, BLAHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHGGGHGHGH! But, I, along with everyone else, will get through it.
1. I'm now 17
2. I am no longer single :)
3. I lost 30 lbs (not on purpose... I had the flu for a month and couldnt hold my food)
4. I got a mini fridge
5. I went to Disney
6. I had an awful year in AP Fail (I mean Bio)
7. I went to Salem and Concord and Mystic and a bunch of other places
8. I got closer with all my friends
9. I might be a better writer (maybe)
10. I went to prom with the most purtiest date
If I didnt include anything important, PLEASE remind me. I have the memory of an 80 year old sometimes.
School isnt that bad this year... yet. I hate, hate, hate physics with all my soul. It sucks. On the bright side, I love English even more, AP style. AP, along with all my other English classes, has really helped me feel confident about wanting to be an English teacher after college. I've known this for a while, but now it's with a lot less apprehension. I do feel a little stressed/ overwhelmed with all the other shit we as seniors need to do. I still have to retake the SATs, do the ACTs, do my senior ex, apply to colleges, BLAHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHGGGHGHGH! But, I, along with everyone else, will get through it.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
EHHHHHHHHHH
Well the summer is ovah. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. I set such high expectations, try to plan so much in 2 months time. Then I am actually surprised when I haven't gotten anything I wanted to done. I wanted to go to Maine, Vermont, look at a few schools, go the the beach with all my friends for the day. I wanted to get my boat in the water and go around the sound with my friends, go to concerts, I wanted to do other things besides get up at 9 and spend my days inside a florescent lit building with my mom and bitchy aunt all day. I feel like I let myself down. I try to blame it on not having enough time but I dunno, it just sucks.
On the other hand, I was able to get a ton closer to the most special person ever. We had loads of fun together; I'd pick her up after work and we'd go back to my house and just lay in bed and talk and stuff. It was nice and it made this summer one of the best ones ever.
So we have to go back to school in 1 day. Great. I wanna sleep in and then blob around the house in my pjs and watch tv and read good books, not Crime and Punishment and hang out with Tara all day. Ehhh (hence the title). Oh well, such is life.
Night!
ps- expect more, frequent posts in the near future.
On the other hand, I was able to get a ton closer to the most special person ever. We had loads of fun together; I'd pick her up after work and we'd go back to my house and just lay in bed and talk and stuff. It was nice and it made this summer one of the best ones ever.
So we have to go back to school in 1 day. Great. I wanna sleep in and then blob around the house in my pjs and watch tv and read good books, not Crime and Punishment and hang out with Tara all day. Ehhh (hence the title). Oh well, such is life.
Night!
ps- expect more, frequent posts in the near future.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Blah blah continued
Wheres:
Where does your best friend live? Corn town
Where did you last go? Chilis
Where did you last hang out? my house
Where do you go to school? BHS
Where is your favorite place to be? location? maine or disney.. with Tara
Where did you sleep last night? in my bed
FIVE DO’S/DOES:
Do you like someone right now? I Love her
Do you think anyone likes you? I hope so
Do you ever wish you were someone else? no way
Do you know the muffin man? .. who lives on drury lane?
Does the future scare you? not really
FOUR WHY’S:
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? I was just asked that by him the other night... I like a challange
Why did you get a myspace? my cousin wanted me to have one
Why did your parents give you the name you have? 1, It's Irish like me and 2. It's from a John Lennon song my mom likes
Why are you doing this survey? why not?
THREE IF’S:
If you could have one super power what would it be?? mind reader
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? nahh
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring? Tara Lee
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? haha what es's.
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? yeah
Where does your best friend live? Corn town
Where did you last go? Chilis
Where did you last hang out? my house
Where do you go to school? BHS
Where is your favorite place to be? location? maine or disney.. with Tara
Where did you sleep last night? in my bed
FIVE DO’S/DOES:
Do you like someone right now? I Love her
Do you think anyone likes you? I hope so
Do you ever wish you were someone else? no way
Do you know the muffin man? .. who lives on drury lane?
Does the future scare you? not really
FOUR WHY’S:
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)? I was just asked that by him the other night... I like a challange
Why did you get a myspace? my cousin wanted me to have one
Why did your parents give you the name you have? 1, It's Irish like me and 2. It's from a John Lennon song my mom likes
Why are you doing this survey? why not?
THREE IF’S:
If you could have one super power what would it be?? mind reader
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? nahh
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring? Tara Lee
TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? haha what es's.
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? yeah
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Blah Blah I should be reading
TEN HOW'S:
How did you get one of your scars? fell off my bike
How did you celebrate your last birthday? trick or treating
How are you feeling at this moment? antsy
How did your night go last night? boring
How did you do in high school? last year WOOO!
How did you get the shirt you're wearing? Wal-Mart
How often do you see ur best friend?when he hauls his ass down to B-town
How much money did you spend last month? a bunch
How old do you want to be when you get married? 24-25 ish
How old will you be at your next birthday? 18!
NINE WHAT'S:
Your mothers name? grumble. Mom
What did you do last weekend? Salem Mass!
What is the most important part of your life? being able to see my baby
What would you rather be doing? watching a movie with Tara
What did you last cry over? The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? listen to music or hugs
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? trust, love, happiness
What are you worried about? not sure
What did you have for breakfast ? Frosted Flakes... they're Grrrrrrreat!
Have yous:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? once or twice
Have you ever had your heartbroken? ehh
Have you ever been out of the country? nope
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? sure
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? nahh
Have you ever had sex on the beach? no
Have you ever dated someone younger than you? currently
Have you ever read an entire book in one day? lots of times
SEVEN WHO’S:
Who was the last person you saw? my sister
Who was the last person you texted? Coco
Who was the last person you hungout with? my Mom
Who was the last person to call you? Katie
Who did you last hug? Tara Lee
Who is the last person who texted you? Katie
Who was the last person you said "i love you" to? non-romantically? Mom romantically? Tara
Are you happy with your life right now?
yes
How did you get one of your scars? fell off my bike
How did you celebrate your last birthday? trick or treating
How are you feeling at this moment? antsy
How did your night go last night? boring
How did you do in high school? last year WOOO!
How did you get the shirt you're wearing? Wal-Mart
How often do you see ur best friend?when he hauls his ass down to B-town
How much money did you spend last month? a bunch
How old do you want to be when you get married? 24-25 ish
How old will you be at your next birthday? 18!
NINE WHAT'S:
Your mothers name? grumble. Mom
What did you do last weekend? Salem Mass!
What is the most important part of your life? being able to see my baby
What would you rather be doing? watching a movie with Tara
What did you last cry over? The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? listen to music or hugs
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? trust, love, happiness
What are you worried about? not sure
What did you have for breakfast ? Frosted Flakes... they're Grrrrrrreat!
Have yous:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? once or twice
Have you ever had your heartbroken? ehh
Have you ever been out of the country? nope
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? sure
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? nahh
Have you ever had sex on the beach? no
Have you ever dated someone younger than you? currently
Have you ever read an entire book in one day? lots of times
SEVEN WHO’S:
Who was the last person you saw? my sister
Who was the last person you texted? Coco
Who was the last person you hungout with? my Mom
Who was the last person to call you? Katie
Who did you last hug? Tara Lee
Who is the last person who texted you? Katie
Who was the last person you said "i love you" to? non-romantically? Mom romantically? Tara
Are you happy with your life right now?
yes
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I think it's safe...
I know its been a while but I've both busy and lazy and there's just not that much to talk about. I got to read Tara's Xanga poems tonight. They really opened my eyes to what a mature and simply( and complexly) beautiful person she really and truly is. This time last year, I was going to stupid parties with John and Hanna and Jason. They were fun at first... then everyone began to drink. I would watch, feeling like I was just some casual observer with a heavy heart. One night I was so desperate for attention or acceptance or I was just thirsty that I drank. It tasted like shit but I just drank. I was all clenchy at first but I let go. I needed it, I guess. I hated myself for it. I had no reason and every reason to crack open that can. I had fun, but I still felt drawn back. I was new to this but I ust went for it. Another time we were all at Hanna's and we walked down to the pond and one of them (my friends) pulled out a joint. I was almost going to go for it... all I wanted to be in the inner circle, to finally just unpack and unclench but unfortunately I have morals and decided to once again watch from the side. I may as well have just stayed home and watched porn or read. I just wish I could have gotten up the nerve to say what I wanted to say out loud, instead of writing it down in a stupid notebook. But I think in some cosmic way my lameness payed off. I truly cant imagine my self being any better than I am now. But I was lonely this time last year. I hurt a lot, all of the time. I tortured myself for years. It's like my hand was in the cookie jar and the mother figure (society) was telling me I could but my sense of reality slapped me on the wrist and said you'll ruin your friendship and any chance of.. I dunno. She called me at her convenience and I ran to her, literally. I would sit at home and watch her go out and come back hours later, having been social, and I, clammed up in my chamber of solitude (as my Dad calls it), waiting. I told myself to give it up but as we all know, it's easier said then done. We'd hang out, talk. But I think she'd sense me wanting to say what we both knew, but she's slam me to the ground like a sumo wrestler with those god damn words " You're like a brother to me." I would sit and smile and say "Yeah, sure." I would hang on to the shreds of hope for something a little less brother/ sistery and a little more relationshipy. It never happened. Now I'm over it. It was hard at first.
I'm over it. I'm completly over it, those feelings have melted away like the inlaid sled tracks on my yard from hours of fun in the snow.
Now I can truly say I am in love now in a way I thought didn't exist in the humans stash of hormonal chemicals. Tara, you make everything in my life whole and meaningful. You return the love I send your way and now, instead of watching, I'm involved. I've evolved, thanks to you. And as far as last summer, I'm just done with it. I don't want to watch, I've moved on. I just don't care anymore. I'm in love, in a love that is pure and two sided and real and the only thing I need to make me feel whole. I love you, Tara.
Wow, that's the longest/most person post ever for me. But, I'm glad it's out. I'm happy and I'm not ashamed of my life or it's potentially lame details. It's me, so there. Night!
I'm over it. I'm completly over it, those feelings have melted away like the inlaid sled tracks on my yard from hours of fun in the snow.
Now I can truly say I am in love now in a way I thought didn't exist in the humans stash of hormonal chemicals. Tara, you make everything in my life whole and meaningful. You return the love I send your way and now, instead of watching, I'm involved. I've evolved, thanks to you. And as far as last summer, I'm just done with it. I don't want to watch, I've moved on. I just don't care anymore. I'm in love, in a love that is pure and two sided and real and the only thing I need to make me feel whole. I love you, Tara.
Wow, that's the longest/most person post ever for me. But, I'm glad it's out. I'm happy and I'm not ashamed of my life or it's potentially lame details. It's me, so there. Night!
Monday, June 1, 2009
You quench my heart and, you quench my mind
Well, it's been an uber long time since I've posted anything. There are two reasons for this; I'm lazy and I'm pretty sure no one reads the stuff I put on here. Any way, since the last time I wrote in here some things went down. I took the SATs and guess what, I'm still a board certified member of the S.S. Fail. Yup, I'm still Lookout Lobo. But I have the summer to study again for September, Yay. Also, I've been working a lot (gotsta pay off all those baby mama's I've got). He he he. I went to prom con mi novia and I was nice. I got to see her all purty in her red dress and I got to don a tux. Woot, you know how much I lurve dress up. It was the first time we got to go out since her month long grounding, which ends this Friday (hellz yeah!). Then we can go back to being "normal". I miss being able to hang out with her so she better not do dumb shit that gets her grounded any more!(yes, I'm telling you). So my sister's going away for Wed-Fri and I'll get to be an only child for a couple o' days. Ahhhhhhhh. So I'm off to watch DMB live and drink apple juice from my Spock glass. Good times:)
Monday, April 27, 2009
"Are you thinking holy shit holy shit a swordfish almost went through my head"
Yeah I know, it has been a few weeks. I've been a little busy, but mostly lazy, as you may have assumed. So a few things just to update y'all on whats been going on(if you actually care). School: It SUCKS! I'm ready for June 22nd. Friday we had the writer workshop thingy and it was loads. It really renewed my passion for writing, something I thought I may have been losing. In fact, it was just in hibernation. I really liked the poetry part. I'm quite the sensitive guy if I do say so myself (;.
We had an AP Bio test on the LAST UNIT! AHHHHHH! But now I get to fail one final practice test this week and then..done with the hard shit. Finally. My loathe for all things AP Biology will hopefully subside after this week. We'll see. I have the SAT on Saturday. Damn. I'm kinda nervous.. I've been hitting those fuckin prep books like they're the bible or something. It's amazing how dependent and obsessed we all get over this ridiculous. How can one test weigh so much on what I want to do with the rest of my life? I just need it to be over. It'll be a long week but once it's done I can rest. Sigh.
Enough of that. I'm tired of thinking about school. It isn't all that's on my mind..usually. And the funny part is, I want to be a teacher. Go figure. Maybe I'll be a writer first. I kinda want to be a journalist for a while. I want to at least try it out. We'll see.
I'm off to bed. To bed I said.
PS- That's not my name. Or is it?
We had an AP Bio test on the LAST UNIT! AHHHHHH! But now I get to fail one final practice test this week and then..done with the hard shit. Finally. My loathe for all things AP Biology will hopefully subside after this week. We'll see. I have the SAT on Saturday. Damn. I'm kinda nervous.. I've been hitting those fuckin prep books like they're the bible or something. It's amazing how dependent and obsessed we all get over this ridiculous. How can one test weigh so much on what I want to do with the rest of my life? I just need it to be over. It'll be a long week but once it's done I can rest. Sigh.
Enough of that. I'm tired of thinking about school. It isn't all that's on my mind..usually. And the funny part is, I want to be a teacher. Go figure. Maybe I'll be a writer first. I kinda want to be a journalist for a while. I want to at least try it out. We'll see.
I'm off to bed. To bed I said.
PS- That's not my name. Or is it?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Bones, sinking like stones
Howdy y'all. Since awhile ago I've been doing pretty much nothing. I finally went to Vermont this past weekend. It was loads. It felt nice to just go have fun, relax, and forget that I still have a shit load of AP Bio work due by Thursday (which I still need to work on). I got to go for a really nice long hike Sunday down some back roads and side trails near the place where we stay. It just felt right being there. It really furthered my desire to go to school up there post high school. The area is just so nice and serene that I find it hard to be stressed about anything once I breath in that mountain piney air. Good stuff.
I'm also feeling restless lately, a direct result of April vacations fast emergence on the calendar. I could go for a week of no school, a week of sleeping till noon every day and then doing nothing for a few more hours. Yeah, I can see it now and I'm liking it.
I'm off to write some essays. Yay. :(
I'm also feeling restless lately, a direct result of April vacations fast emergence on the calendar. I could go for a week of no school, a week of sleeping till noon every day and then doing nothing for a few more hours. Yeah, I can see it now and I'm liking it.
I'm off to write some essays. Yay. :(
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I busted down the pretext
I guess
My house after my job at the docks
3-26
I think they know
Nah, I'm too lazy
I think so...
Sorry ladies, I'm taken
Yeah
No
Hell yeah, I'm Survivor man' bffl
Actually, my sister
Whoring myself to pretty much anyone & I'm a guybrarian
My sister
Blue
Brown
Man, you one sexy motha shutchomouth
5-9
Tara, sometime today
Love 'em
Not really a secret
Tara
Florida
I have to choose?
Mom
15 minutes ish
It aint pretty
Nah
Hung out with my neighbor
For some of it
Kind of Spanish
K
7
Always
No I do it once or twice a year
My boxers and tshirt
She knows who she is
Funny and serious
Pearl Jam-State of Love and Trust
None
Nada
Nope
Not really, just any plaid
Watchmen
Yogurt
Orange soda
Yeah
? Idk
Again, she knows who she is:)
Sleeping
Nope
Pasta and sauce
What should I put on my blog?
Thursday, March 19, 2009
As you pry, I thought that I’d forgotten
I know it's been a while since I've blogged (damn new verb). Let's see, what have I done since the last post. Well, not too much. I took the CAPT exams after a lot of confusion and retardedness amongst the faculty. I'm pretty sure they made the re-takes easier for us special juniors because they figured we're just too lazy to actually apply ourselves the second time around, so why bother failing them again?
Since then, I went with Colin and Mike to see Watchmen. That movie was awesomeness. Very graphic but very cool and with a plot that was actually vaguely interesting. Fun times ensued. Also, I've discovered a new love, Ocean State Joblot. As you all may or may not know, I love cheap stuff. This place is a cheap stuff goldmine. But every time we go, we see teachers from either Walsh or the high school. I think we're being followed. I saw my seventh grade Spanish teacher today whilst purchasing cheap but yummo soda. It was both weird and awkward. But apparently her and my other old teachers still talk about me. I didn't know I was so popular/special. Haha! So yeah, that's been fun.
I've also discovered a lot of new music these past few weeks. I've gotten into about 4 new bands. I have a little bit of music ADD, I get bored with the same songs on my iPod. Listening to lyrically rich songs has really sparked my desire to write creatively again. It has been a nice release for me in the past and now I feel a lot of inspiration. Maybe I'll share with y'all sometime. But for now you'll just have to deal with my regular blogging. See ya!
PS- Enjoy one of new bands I've "discovered"!(with some Darryl Hall mixed in for a nice seasoning...ooo!------http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ01i0xIgCo
Since then, I went with Colin and Mike to see Watchmen. That movie was awesomeness. Very graphic but very cool and with a plot that was actually vaguely interesting. Fun times ensued. Also, I've discovered a new love, Ocean State Joblot. As you all may or may not know, I love cheap stuff. This place is a cheap stuff goldmine. But every time we go, we see teachers from either Walsh or the high school. I think we're being followed. I saw my seventh grade Spanish teacher today whilst purchasing cheap but yummo soda. It was both weird and awkward. But apparently her and my other old teachers still talk about me. I didn't know I was so popular/special. Haha! So yeah, that's been fun.
I've also discovered a lot of new music these past few weeks. I've gotten into about 4 new bands. I have a little bit of music ADD, I get bored with the same songs on my iPod. Listening to lyrically rich songs has really sparked my desire to write creatively again. It has been a nice release for me in the past and now I feel a lot of inspiration. Maybe I'll share with y'all sometime. But for now you'll just have to deal with my regular blogging. See ya!
PS- Enjoy one of new bands I've "discovered"!(with some Darryl Hall mixed in for a nice seasoning...ooo!------http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ01i0xIgCo
Thursday, March 5, 2009
And love...Wish the world could go again with love
All I have to say is wow. Branford High is probably the most special (not the good kind) place EVER. I really cant wait to go to college now. Hopefully, once there, I can escape some of the redonkulous bull that high school holds. If I hear CAPT one more time, I may need to go find the inventor of CAPT and kick his ass. I mean, damage would be done. I would be like that chimp who attacked that lady, I'd go ape-shit. It's just such a waste of time, every one's time for that matter. Why we cant just go take the classes we want and forget about how to find the amount of days it takes Venus to rotate around the sun in earth hours or some bullshit like that is all beyond me. So yeah, CAPT can kiss my fat, white ass.
Also, since my last post I found out that I'm not going to Vermont until April 3rd. Yeah, I pretty pissed. But at least I'll get to go. Also, I'm going to see Watchmen on Saturday which looks pretty awesome. I love those kinds of movies so that should be a good time all around. Maybe tomorrow I'll drag Tara back to Ocean State Job lot to get some more 88 cent soda..I'm drinking the last one as I write this. So yeah, weekend is needed, even through we had a snow day and a mini day. Which reminds me, me neighbor and I made THE best sledding track on my hill ever. It'll be hard to remake that one. I was awesome and I wish I spent more time on it. Oh well, life goes on. I'm off to finally write my last AP Bio essay. See ya!
Also, since my last post I found out that I'm not going to Vermont until April 3rd. Yeah, I pretty pissed. But at least I'll get to go. Also, I'm going to see Watchmen on Saturday which looks pretty awesome. I love those kinds of movies so that should be a good time all around. Maybe tomorrow I'll drag Tara back to Ocean State Job lot to get some more 88 cent soda..I'm drinking the last one as I write this. So yeah, weekend is needed, even through we had a snow day and a mini day. Which reminds me, me neighbor and I made THE best sledding track on my hill ever. It'll be hard to remake that one. I was awesome and I wish I spent more time on it. Oh well, life goes on. I'm off to finally write my last AP Bio essay. See ya!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Like a sucker-punch to the gut of society
Welcome back to school time. I really wish we could just go to school for a week then have a week off. That seems fair, right? Since my return to school, I have discovered the following has magically fallen on my lap:
- I have an ass load of AP Bio work to do as always.
- I have to re-take math CAPT for two days next week.
- All the good teachers at school might be out of a job next year, thanks to the lovely, not so sought after budget cuts.
- And I have to present in English on a book I haven't read and probably wont.
- Also, I'm being forced to do 4 hours of SAT prep over the weekend. Yay.
All this, and I went to work for 3 hours AND still have a cold. Fun.
I don't want to be whiny (a little late for that though) and I actually hate whining but I like to use the blog to let out my frustrations sometimes. So sue me. Actually, don't b/c that would be the straw that breaks this camel's back.
Aside from all the bullshit at school, all is not too bad. Vermont is quickly approaching and I cant wait to get out of Branford for a few days. Actually, I could use a month or two but I have damn school to go to. I'm kind of done dealing with all the lameness at school. I had to go to about 5 higher-authorities to figure out what room I would take CAPT in. For one, fuck CAPT, fuck it with something big and sandpapery. Secondly, why are all these "higher ups" so incompetent (you all know who you are)? It all drives me a little crazy, insane in the membrane dawg. Yeah, long week it's been. I'm off to work on more COMPLETELY useless bio shiz. See ya soon!
Friday, February 20, 2009
It's like disco lemonade..yummo
It's official, I want more time off from school. I need more time so that I can lay in bed and do nothing all day long. I love doing that some times. But alas, I had to go to work and bring home le bacon. But I also had fun, going for Indian food and a hike with Tara and having loads o' _______. I also got to hang out with my friends Hanna and Jason who I never get to really see. We went bowling tonight and even though I lost both times, it was loads of fun. We cant all be professional bowlers like some (liars) we know(hint hint, not mentioning names). Anywho...
Spring needs to be here soon. I want to go on more hikes with a certain curly haired crazy person and just be outside. We're planning on going around the state to all these cool places where we can hike until our ankles swell. I want to that and get back out on my bike, something I love and miss. I used to ride my bike all year round before I got my car but now I clear the dust off of it once in a blue moon. That's going to change once it's warmer out and you'll all see me riding around town like I used to. You'll see, you'll all see muhahaha! Moving on...
Tomorrow (or today I guess, it's around 1 am) I'm going to the Rodger Williams Zoo in Rhode Island. So yeah, good times ahead. Then hopefully Tara and I will hang out if she's not still pissy with me.
Alrighty, I'm going to bed. Night (or morning)!
Spring needs to be here soon. I want to go on more hikes with a certain curly haired crazy person and just be outside. We're planning on going around the state to all these cool places where we can hike until our ankles swell. I want to that and get back out on my bike, something I love and miss. I used to ride my bike all year round before I got my car but now I clear the dust off of it once in a blue moon. That's going to change once it's warmer out and you'll all see me riding around town like I used to. You'll see, you'll all see muhahaha! Moving on...
Tomorrow (or today I guess, it's around 1 am) I'm going to the Rodger Williams Zoo in Rhode Island. So yeah, good times ahead. Then hopefully Tara and I will hang out if she's not still pissy with me.
Alrighty, I'm going to bed. Night (or morning)!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
You're why all the birds suddenly appear
I've been feeling an obligation to write again, I don't know why but I decided to follow through on my feeling. It has been a week full of working. I've been working endlessly on studying and getting work done for AP Bio, which kind of seems worthless at this point. It feels like a waste of time putting in all the time and effort I do into a class that gives me nothing but failure. From now on I've decided to stop putting extra effort into the work and studying mainly because I don't care. I realize that sounds slackery of me but biology isn't my main concern of area of interest so why bother, right?
Friday Tara y yo(nice espanol, huh?) went to Dragon East and had much desired Chinese food which was loads o fun, and yum. We went back and watched Anchorman (one of my favorite movies) and had more fun times. Tonight she had her b-day party and us and friends had fun and sat around and just hung out, something we all rarely do and something we should do more often.
I think in my last post I said I could wait a little bit longer before we got some time off from school. I was wrong. It's going to be nice no having to get up at 6:30 every day and I can hang around and see Tara besides in school and have loads o good times. So yeah, yay no school! I'm off, see ya!
Friday Tara y yo(nice espanol, huh?) went to Dragon East and had much desired Chinese food which was loads o fun, and yum. We went back and watched Anchorman (one of my favorite movies) and had more fun times. Tonight she had her b-day party and us and friends had fun and sat around and just hung out, something we all rarely do and something we should do more often.
I think in my last post I said I could wait a little bit longer before we got some time off from school. I was wrong. It's going to be nice no having to get up at 6:30 every day and I can hang around and see Tara besides in school and have loads o good times. So yeah, yay no school! I'm off, see ya!
Monday, February 9, 2009
We come together cuz I'm just like a cat (&cow)
It's been a few days since I last updated this blog of awesomeness; really because I haven't had much to report on (and still don't). What I've mostly done these past few days is hang out with Tara, go to Goodwill and smell all the poor and sift through some nasty shit, have dinner with Tara's kinda crazy but fun family, and go to work with the elderly at the library, making some sweet sweet moolah. Also, I picked my classes for next year and it's the first year that I'll actually have easy classes that I want to take. Classes like creative writing and journalism and film study, stuff I'm actually interested. I'm also taking AP English, which may be a bit o' a beotch but worth it (for me anyway).
We have Feb. vacation next week and it kind feels like an unnecessary thing right now, probably because I just got back from vacation. Nevertheless, I’m sure as hell not complaining:). Hopefully I'll get to go to Vermont for a few days with my neighbors and have loads o fun hanging around at home and w/ a certain person (yo mama). So yeah that should be a good week off and a good time.
As I write this post I have sitting on my desk about 2-3 hours worth of AP Bio work that I REALLY do not want to work on. Damn packets, damn essays, and damn Darwin and his dumb evolution theory. Yup so that's what I've been procrastinating over and probably will for another hour or so. Good stuff. Alright I'm off to think about working on it. See ya.
We have Feb. vacation next week and it kind feels like an unnecessary thing right now, probably because I just got back from vacation. Nevertheless, I’m sure as hell not complaining:). Hopefully I'll get to go to Vermont for a few days with my neighbors and have loads o fun hanging around at home and w/ a certain person (yo mama). So yeah that should be a good week off and a good time.
As I write this post I have sitting on my desk about 2-3 hours worth of AP Bio work that I REALLY do not want to work on. Damn packets, damn essays, and damn Darwin and his dumb evolution theory. Yup so that's what I've been procrastinating over and probably will for another hour or so. Good stuff. Alright I'm off to think about working on it. See ya.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Magic's in the music and the music's in me
I know you've been missing my random gibberish the past week while I was off gallivanting in Disney recapturing my youth. I'm back now feeling like shit because I caught a fucking cold on the last day of my trip. Oh well, I still had a great time. We kept busy the whole time go on and re-going on rides and walking around and just feeling at home. It's nice to be able to rely on that trip year after year. My family had a time share and we've been going for about 10 years and I still cant get enough of the place. I even discovered that I kind of sort of like football after watching the end of the super bowl at the ESPN club in Disney. It was weird and kind of mindless, but exciting nevertheless. Go figure.
I was hoping to return to less snow than when I left but the opposite took place instead, giving us a half day yesterday which turned out to be a good thing. It gave Tara and I more time to be together after 7 days of non-togetherness. It was good times, looking at deer in the back yard and watching The Office while she listened to me cough and blow my nose the whole time. If that aint love I don't know what is.
Also, my boss wouldn't let me go into work today because she didn't what to get sick and I was really pissed. I'm not cheap and I need me some moolah to support all them babies I had with those skanks haha.
Well I'm off to do some make up work and hack my congested brains out. Wanna join? Fun times on the SS Fail Boat for Lookout Lobo! Hoot Hoot! Night y'all!
PS Here's the funniest video EVAH!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VywhM8YRPX4&NR=1
I was hoping to return to less snow than when I left but the opposite took place instead, giving us a half day yesterday which turned out to be a good thing. It gave Tara and I more time to be together after 7 days of non-togetherness. It was good times, looking at deer in the back yard and watching The Office while she listened to me cough and blow my nose the whole time. If that aint love I don't know what is.
Also, my boss wouldn't let me go into work today because she didn't what to get sick and I was really pissed. I'm not cheap and I need me some moolah to support all them babies I had with those skanks haha.
Well I'm off to do some make up work and hack my congested brains out. Wanna join? Fun times on the SS Fail Boat for Lookout Lobo! Hoot Hoot! Night y'all!
PS Here's the funniest video EVAH!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VywhM8YRPX4&NR=1
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E Bitches, Oh yeah!
So yeah, I am so happy right now for multiple reasons. I have no more school until next week. I'm done with midterms, hell yeah! They were brutalish. I studied my ass of, literally, it fell off and I had to go get it sewn back on and they found a crack in it and everything. Anyway so I'm glad they're done. Now I can go act like a kid in the biggest play place evah! I don't have to worry about anything except our flight being delayed, damn snow never fails to piss me off. I digress. Hopefully I can come back with some sort of tan to mask the glistening pail that winter brings along with cold. Good times:)
Don't miss me too much while I'm gone. I know it'll be rough but it's only 6 days haha. Then I'll be back to entertain y'all with my snarky and awesome bloggage. Woot! Well I'm off to see if my shorts still fit and that I have all the crap I need to have loads o _____:) See ya when I get back!
PS- Enjoy this tune. Think of me while you listen to it's awesomeness!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NZ877Pc_G8
Don't miss me too much while I'm gone. I know it'll be rough but it's only 6 days haha. Then I'll be back to entertain y'all with my snarky and awesome bloggage. Woot! Well I'm off to see if my shorts still fit and that I have all the crap I need to have loads o _____:) See ya when I get back!
PS- Enjoy this tune. Think of me while you listen to it's awesomeness!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NZ877Pc_G8
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Meet you any time you want, in our Greek diner
Here are some random facts about myself. Enjoy!
Rules: Once you read this, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. I like wearing long socks
2. The music of Cher isn't all that bad in my eyes
3. Maple syrup is my favorite dressing
4. I like being barefoot and rugged in the woods. I'm Survivorman's inspiration:)
5. I want to be able to pull off wearing a bandanna on my head
6. Snow is getting old to me, I want to go swimming
7. Bananas trigger a food-nut allergy in me, my tongue gets itchy
8. I have a constant play list of songs running through my head
9. I'm eating bacon
10. I'm corny
11. I read my horoscope a lot and it's usually accurate
12. If I could, I would have my own concert and invite R.E.M., Pearl Jam, America, and maybe your mom
13. I like it when my towels are starchy
14. I prefer soft toilet paper
15. I would like to be a high school English teacher but judging from the way my essays are usually crap(not my opinion), I might teach math to insects
16. Hiking is fun even though it requires energy
17. Chinese and Indian food gives me the runs but it's so good I eat it any way
18. I take out garbage for old people and sometimes get paid in cupcakes
19. I'm non-confrontational
20. I want to live at in the cottage my family owns in Maine
21. Solitude is good stuff
22. I would like to go to Dublin to visit my family there, and to get smashed at a pub haha
23. I say I'm an independent in politics but lean severely to the liberal side, oh well
24. I like TV
25. I'm sarcastic and snarky, but it works.
Rules: Once you read this, you are supposed to write a post with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. I like wearing long socks
2. The music of Cher isn't all that bad in my eyes
3. Maple syrup is my favorite dressing
4. I like being barefoot and rugged in the woods. I'm Survivorman's inspiration:)
5. I want to be able to pull off wearing a bandanna on my head
6. Snow is getting old to me, I want to go swimming
7. Bananas trigger a food-nut allergy in me, my tongue gets itchy
8. I have a constant play list of songs running through my head
9. I'm eating bacon
10. I'm corny
11. I read my horoscope a lot and it's usually accurate
12. If I could, I would have my own concert and invite R.E.M., Pearl Jam, America, and maybe your mom
13. I like it when my towels are starchy
14. I prefer soft toilet paper
15. I would like to be a high school English teacher but judging from the way my essays are usually crap(not my opinion), I might teach math to insects
16. Hiking is fun even though it requires energy
17. Chinese and Indian food gives me the runs but it's so good I eat it any way
18. I take out garbage for old people and sometimes get paid in cupcakes
19. I'm non-confrontational
20. I want to live at in the cottage my family owns in Maine
21. Solitude is good stuff
22. I would like to go to Dublin to visit my family there, and to get smashed at a pub haha
23. I say I'm an independent in politics but lean severely to the liberal side, oh well
24. I like TV
25. I'm sarcastic and snarky, but it works.
Friday, January 23, 2009
There's the progress we have found, A way to talk around the problem
I hate tests. I'm tired of studying. It's been increasingly hard to concentrate and the last thing I feel like doing is reviewing past failed tests and fixing the errors on them. I'm going to the boat show tomorrow which should be a good time, a good distraction, and maybe I can pick out a new yacht for my ever growing make believe fleet of finely crafted vessels. Maybe I'll do that.
My brain hurts. Are there cures for brain hurtage? I dunno but I'd like it to stop. Here's some creative writing that I've been working on. I know it's crap but it's my crap.
"Dizzy doesn't begin to say it. Merry-go-rounds are less nauseating than this whirling weirdness. If the clock doesn't move faster, sooner, brains will melt and hair will be lost.
It's time for my feeding. Down the hatchet, barely. Brain's still melty.
Open the tome of earthly growth, of unwanted knowledge. Minutes pass like years as the pen that scribes begins to lose interest, the hand that holds it has lost the will to go on.
Variety would be nice, if it were nice back.
The normal is weird, green eyes look helpless but merciful. Twas needed though.
If it made sense, an understanding, it would help reform the melted, the dizzy.
But no, no line has been thrown, no friendly smile of relief has been passed on.
This town has seen it, they saw it, have I? You?
Recollection fogs, fades, but it's known, there, it's present
Remembered Fondly.
Maybe the dizzy will leave, the merry-go-round halt, music stops playing, and clarity will be substituted. Maybe."
Well that's what I do when I don't feel like studying. Probably should stick to studying haha but you know. I cant think of a title for this post yet but when I do, it may not be creative or relevant, but it'll be there. I hope sleep will meet me tonight, that would be good. I enjoy its companionship. I'm off to study until an eye falls out or I go bald or grey from the stress. Yeah. Goodnight.
My brain hurts. Are there cures for brain hurtage? I dunno but I'd like it to stop. Here's some creative writing that I've been working on. I know it's crap but it's my crap.
"Dizzy doesn't begin to say it. Merry-go-rounds are less nauseating than this whirling weirdness. If the clock doesn't move faster, sooner, brains will melt and hair will be lost.
It's time for my feeding. Down the hatchet, barely. Brain's still melty.
Open the tome of earthly growth, of unwanted knowledge. Minutes pass like years as the pen that scribes begins to lose interest, the hand that holds it has lost the will to go on.
Variety would be nice, if it were nice back.
The normal is weird, green eyes look helpless but merciful. Twas needed though.
If it made sense, an understanding, it would help reform the melted, the dizzy.
But no, no line has been thrown, no friendly smile of relief has been passed on.
This town has seen it, they saw it, have I? You?
Recollection fogs, fades, but it's known, there, it's present
Remembered Fondly.
Maybe the dizzy will leave, the merry-go-round halt, music stops playing, and clarity will be substituted. Maybe."
Well that's what I do when I don't feel like studying. Probably should stick to studying haha but you know. I cant think of a title for this post yet but when I do, it may not be creative or relevant, but it'll be there. I hope sleep will meet me tonight, that would be good. I enjoy its companionship. I'm off to study until an eye falls out or I go bald or grey from the stress. Yeah. Goodnight.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Lying there and staring at the ceiling
As many of you know today was the final day of AP Walking. Damn. I'll miss walking around with you guys, singing and being a general nerd. I know many of you are wondering who my replacement as head coach will be. Well my successor is going to be Peter for his dedication to the awesomeness and his lack of caring about gym. So there, Pete's the new AP coach so respect his authoritayyyy and maybe sing with him once and a while, for me.
Moving on, mid terms are quickly approaching. AHHHHH! I haven't started any of the work I need to do or studied for the tests that we are going to have. Yes, oh shit is right. Maybe I'll start some of it tonight, after I recover from the epic fail of the AP Bio test I just took. Colin, I will kill you. The essay was really hard. Fucker.
This weekend is going to be full. Friday, I found out I have to go watch my sister dance at some basketball game, oh boy. Then maybe Tara will get to be graced by my presence. Hopefully;). Saturday I'm going to the Hartford Boat show with my dad. I love going there, pretending that I can actually afford one or two of the monstrous vessels. I love boats. I want to pick up sailing again. But my current beauty is really a P.O.S. that's more trouble than it's worth. We'll see. Sunday I am going to a mass for my Nana in Madison. It has been a year since she passed on but it feels like it was yesterday. I miss her and think of her constantly so the service should be nice. So that plus uber amounts of studying is what I'll be up to this week/weekend. Stay warm and see ya soon!
P.S.- I'm advertising for Pete...he's got a new blog. Check it out and see ya later!http://zerstorenisawayoflife.blogspot.com/
Moving on, mid terms are quickly approaching. AHHHHH! I haven't started any of the work I need to do or studied for the tests that we are going to have. Yes, oh shit is right. Maybe I'll start some of it tonight, after I recover from the epic fail of the AP Bio test I just took. Colin, I will kill you. The essay was really hard. Fucker.
This weekend is going to be full. Friday, I found out I have to go watch my sister dance at some basketball game, oh boy. Then maybe Tara will get to be graced by my presence. Hopefully;). Saturday I'm going to the Hartford Boat show with my dad. I love going there, pretending that I can actually afford one or two of the monstrous vessels. I love boats. I want to pick up sailing again. But my current beauty is really a P.O.S. that's more trouble than it's worth. We'll see. Sunday I am going to a mass for my Nana in Madison. It has been a year since she passed on but it feels like it was yesterday. I miss her and think of her constantly so the service should be nice. So that plus uber amounts of studying is what I'll be up to this week/weekend. Stay warm and see ya soon!
P.S.- I'm advertising for Pete...he's got a new blog. Check it out and see ya later!http://zerstorenisawayoflife.blogspot.com/
Saturday, January 17, 2009
It's the dirty story of a dirty man
I hate studying. I've been trying to catch up on learning a bunch of crap that I had kind of decided to not pay attention to for the past few months in class. It sucks. But I'll get it done. I just need to focus, which has been no easy task lately. I hadn't seen Tara for the past few days because I am apparently a tool (not really). She was sick and out of school on Thursday and I was going to go visit but I got held up staying after and time just ran out. Then I was sick on Friday and I didn't go to school so then today to make up for the lack of us time, I went over to her house and we lounged around all day, having loads o fun as usual. More good times. It's kind of funny how quickly time flies when you're having loads.
I've been trying to get a bunch of songs that have been stuck in my head out. As a result, I have been constantly listening to those songs as well new songs to fill their space in my head.
Now I have a long weekend and I have to spend the rest of it working, studying, and studying some more. Yay. But that's ok because after that I don't have o do any work, just play and warmth. Oh warmth, how I miss your sweet embrace. Drafty windows, broken heaters, and sub zero winds keep you away, but not forever. The sun will grow closer and I will once again not have to wear 3 layers in my own room. Yes, warmth, you will be welcomed with great passion.
Hope you all can try to stay warm and out of airplanes that turn into boats. Yeah, now I want to got flying, NOT! Oh well, we'll see what happens.
Here's a link to my project play list. Go listen to it and make one, they're free and cool. The songs at the bottom are most recent. Enjoy the tunes and see ya later!
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/9496305675
I've been trying to get a bunch of songs that have been stuck in my head out. As a result, I have been constantly listening to those songs as well new songs to fill their space in my head.
Now I have a long weekend and I have to spend the rest of it working, studying, and studying some more. Yay. But that's ok because after that I don't have o do any work, just play and warmth. Oh warmth, how I miss your sweet embrace. Drafty windows, broken heaters, and sub zero winds keep you away, but not forever. The sun will grow closer and I will once again not have to wear 3 layers in my own room. Yes, warmth, you will be welcomed with great passion.
Hope you all can try to stay warm and out of airplanes that turn into boats. Yeah, now I want to got flying, NOT! Oh well, we'll see what happens.
Here's a link to my project play list. Go listen to it and make one, they're free and cool. The songs at the bottom are most recent. Enjoy the tunes and see ya later!
http://www.playlist.com/playlist/9496305675
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Here come the jesters, 1,2,3
First off, I regret to inform all AP Walkers that I, your beloved coach for 3 years, has been moved to period 5 gym next semester and will no longer be in AP Walking with you. I know you'll all miss my amazing duos with Peter and just having the best AP Walking coach ever be with you. I will be naming my replacement soon, so be the slackeriest you can be if you want the job. You can send your complaints to Mr. Douche Callan in his office, for being a douche, and if you want your coach back, you should do so.
I Hate that guy, he's a tool.
Moving on...
Sunday night and Monday I had to play extreme catch up on my AP Bio essays, which still aren't all done. I found out also that we have a fucking test on Friday and we haven't even finished going over the material, thanks Keegs. So I guess I have a lot of studying to do this week. I have that plus most of the other classes I take need studying. Like in algebra where we haven't even gone over 2 weeks worth of stuff that has to be on our exam. And we still have to learn it and take a quiz on it. Damn. I have no idea what the hell we're doing in Spanish and I really don't care, but I have to study anyway. More damn. Plus, I have to study all the crap in bio we've learned since the beginning of this quarter. Triple damn.
But then I get to go to Disney after the exam which should be nice. I want to be warm without standing next to a fire for a few days. I need to leave Branford for a little while. But I'll return to Tara and all the others that will surly be counting the moments until I return... unless I become a Disney employee and move there for good.
Nah, I'm kidding. I get sick of the heat after a while. I start to miss all the snow and cold and stuff. But I'm glad to be going. It will also give me a chance to spend some time with my cousin, who only lives 2 minutes away and goes to my school, is never around to see. So good times ahead.
Dinner awaits. See ya!
I Hate that guy, he's a tool.
Moving on...
Sunday night and Monday I had to play extreme catch up on my AP Bio essays, which still aren't all done. I found out also that we have a fucking test on Friday and we haven't even finished going over the material, thanks Keegs. So I guess I have a lot of studying to do this week. I have that plus most of the other classes I take need studying. Like in algebra where we haven't even gone over 2 weeks worth of stuff that has to be on our exam. And we still have to learn it and take a quiz on it. Damn. I have no idea what the hell we're doing in Spanish and I really don't care, but I have to study anyway. More damn. Plus, I have to study all the crap in bio we've learned since the beginning of this quarter. Triple damn.
But then I get to go to Disney after the exam which should be nice. I want to be warm without standing next to a fire for a few days. I need to leave Branford for a little while. But I'll return to Tara and all the others that will surly be counting the moments until I return... unless I become a Disney employee and move there for good.
Nah, I'm kidding. I get sick of the heat after a while. I start to miss all the snow and cold and stuff. But I'm glad to be going. It will also give me a chance to spend some time with my cousin, who only lives 2 minutes away and goes to my school, is never around to see. So good times ahead.
Dinner awaits. See ya!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Who wants to be right as rain, it's better when you're wrong
So I have had a nice few days. Friday I picked Tara up from the middle school where she was meeting with snot nosed middle school kids about being culturally diverse, which I bet they are not. She came over to my house and we watched Tropic Thunder, which was f-in hilarious. It was gross and stupid, but funny never the less. Then I wanted pancakes so Tara and I went to the Twin Pines diner. We saw some creepy people there but it was all good. We went to Walmart after (I know, classy date, right?) and picked up some movies and went back to her house and watched Superbad, another ridiculously funny movie. We had loads.
Saturday I decided to not do anything, knowing full well that I had 8 bio essays to write. I slept in until 12 or 1 (I cant remember) and then I went to my aunts house for a bit and played the Wii. Good times.
So today I went to watch Tara jump into Arctic waters (not really) to raise money for kids with cancer. Let me just say that after watching that, it was confirmed that I will never be partaking in that event, ever. The water and air were sooooo cold. But good for you, Tara, you're braver than myself and perhaps most of the readers of my blog. I followed her back to her house where she attempted to bring her core temperature back up into the 90s and we watched Juno and had more _______. All around fun weekend. Coincidentally, I only got 3 essays done for bio and I couldn't care less. I feel like I'm turning into more of a slacker than I have been. Maybe it's just that bio is boring and it's not something I plan on pursuing so why should I get the essays done on time. Keegs wont care that much..we tight.
Well I'm off to bed. Got a headache. Oh well, see ya later.
Saturday I decided to not do anything, knowing full well that I had 8 bio essays to write. I slept in until 12 or 1 (I cant remember) and then I went to my aunts house for a bit and played the Wii. Good times.
So today I went to watch Tara jump into Arctic waters (not really) to raise money for kids with cancer. Let me just say that after watching that, it was confirmed that I will never be partaking in that event, ever. The water and air were sooooo cold. But good for you, Tara, you're braver than myself and perhaps most of the readers of my blog. I followed her back to her house where she attempted to bring her core temperature back up into the 90s and we watched Juno and had more _______. All around fun weekend. Coincidentally, I only got 3 essays done for bio and I couldn't care less. I feel like I'm turning into more of a slacker than I have been. Maybe it's just that bio is boring and it's not something I plan on pursuing so why should I get the essays done on time. Keegs wont care that much..we tight.
Well I'm off to bed. Got a headache. Oh well, see ya later.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
See the monkey do the monkey pay the monkey back
Yesterday was loads like I assumed it would be. Besides school being suckish, I got Tara from the middle school and we saw Bedtime Stories. Yes, matinee. But wit was cool because we were the only people in the theater. The movie was funny and Tara and I had loads being..well..us, you know. It was a grand time all around.
Today was boring, uneventful, and lazy..also known as bizzaro day. I awoke to the monotone voice of our superintendent saying that school would not be in session today. Did I care that there was no snow? No. All I cared about was that I could return to my slumber for a few (5 or 6) hours. I woke up at 12:30 ish and found a message from Tara who apparently doesn't like sleeping as late as I and she want to see..and who could blame her(haha). I would have if I wasn't obligated to help the elderly and whiny Stony Creekers find their Clive Cussler and Danielle Steel novels, so I couldnt hang out today. So I went to work and got some more free books and made some money. Nice.
Tomorrow I get to visit the evil library, the competition, Blackstone. I have to pick up some books for the better library then go to town hall pick up my moolah. And then I'll probably go home and write some AP Bio essays which will inevitable eat my soul. Until the next time I have stuff to write about, see ya.
PS- Tara, I lost my cellular devise and that's why I didn't call you but I'm online now (8:50) so if you're reading this and it's not after 10:30, go online and we'll chat Bye:)
Today was boring, uneventful, and lazy..also known as bizzaro day. I awoke to the monotone voice of our superintendent saying that school would not be in session today. Did I care that there was no snow? No. All I cared about was that I could return to my slumber for a few (5 or 6) hours. I woke up at 12:30 ish and found a message from Tara who apparently doesn't like sleeping as late as I and she want to see..and who could blame her(haha). I would have if I wasn't obligated to help the elderly and whiny Stony Creekers find their Clive Cussler and Danielle Steel novels, so I couldnt hang out today. So I went to work and got some more free books and made some money. Nice.
Tomorrow I get to visit the evil library, the competition, Blackstone. I have to pick up some books for the better library then go to town hall pick up my moolah. And then I'll probably go home and write some AP Bio essays which will inevitable eat my soul. Until the next time I have stuff to write about, see ya.
PS- Tara, I lost my cellular devise and that's why I didn't call you but I'm online now (8:50) so if you're reading this and it's not after 10:30, go online and we'll chat Bye:)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Shiny Happy People
Yes, I am a somewhat shiny, happy person(thank you R.E.M.). My evil plans have worked and I have convinced Tara that going out with me is a good thing. Now I will take over her brain and she will be my pie baking slave. BRUHAHAHA!
Sorry, I know it may seem like I'm on crack. But really it's my over active 10 year old imagination that gets to me plus my lame sense of humor. Oh well. Read on readers, if you think you can handle it.
WARNING! Mushy sappyness ahead!: An ode to Tara.
Nah I'm kidding, or am I? But really, I'm very happy and I hope she is too. It feels like it has taken us a while to get where we are but now that it's happening, it's hard to believe. But I'm the lucky one. She really has put a big grin on my face and has made 2009 and beyond very promising and special for me. Good stuff. So Tara, here's the ode I promised. I hope it was to your liking.
In other news, I realized that I really need to stop procrastinating and that I need to do my work on time or else I may throw all of my books out of he window and then go dance around them whilst I begin chanting in jibberish. Crazy? Maybe, but after the past few days of playing catch up with all of the work I procrastinated on, I'm bushed. So maybe that should have been my resolution. Is it to late to add to it? Oh well I am any way.
It's supposed to snow on Wednesday night so pray for a delay on Thursday. You know what to do, put a spoon and a nickle under your pillow and put your jammies on inside out. If enough people partake in this crazy ritual, it works. I've seen it happen before. So DO IT!
Well I'm off to bed. I'm tired and happy. Good combo. Night!
PS- Here is one of the lamest music videos ever..but I love them anyway!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkHM8xG6i8o
Sorry, I know it may seem like I'm on crack. But really it's my over active 10 year old imagination that gets to me plus my lame sense of humor. Oh well. Read on readers, if you think you can handle it.
WARNING! Mushy sappyness ahead!: An ode to Tara.
Nah I'm kidding, or am I? But really, I'm very happy and I hope she is too. It feels like it has taken us a while to get where we are but now that it's happening, it's hard to believe. But I'm the lucky one. She really has put a big grin on my face and has made 2009 and beyond very promising and special for me. Good stuff. So Tara, here's the ode I promised. I hope it was to your liking.
In other news, I realized that I really need to stop procrastinating and that I need to do my work on time or else I may throw all of my books out of he window and then go dance around them whilst I begin chanting in jibberish. Crazy? Maybe, but after the past few days of playing catch up with all of the work I procrastinated on, I'm bushed. So maybe that should have been my resolution. Is it to late to add to it? Oh well I am any way.
It's supposed to snow on Wednesday night so pray for a delay on Thursday. You know what to do, put a spoon and a nickle under your pillow and put your jammies on inside out. If enough people partake in this crazy ritual, it works. I've seen it happen before. So DO IT!
Well I'm off to bed. I'm tired and happy. Good combo. Night!
PS- Here is one of the lamest music videos ever..but I love them anyway!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkHM8xG6i8o
Friday, January 2, 2009
You got a way to set my senses reelin'
Hello all. How has this new year been going for you so far? For me, it's been great. It didn't snow today which meant that my plans with Tara weren't messed with. We went to the Book Barn and I got more Michael Crichton and some Tennessee Williams. Then we headed to the outside Book Barn and got $8 for some of my mom's old books and we walked around there for a bit before we realized we were late for the movie. Benjamin Button was another depressing movie but it was good although lengthy. We couldn't let the fun end there so we went to the diner and ate and discussed Brad Pitt and the fact that he's pure evil; that and that we should see happier movies together. I for one had loads. :)
I also realized that I have a lot of work to do this weekend. Damn. But I'm also going to go work at the library and make some needed moolah. Any who that's about it. Oh and I hope you enjoy the daily picture on the side of the blog...I wanted to punch it up a little. Oh and I want to give a shout out to Jeff, who ever you are. See ya!
PS- I finally got that sneeze out!
I also realized that I have a lot of work to do this weekend. Damn. But I'm also going to go work at the library and make some needed moolah. Any who that's about it. Oh and I hope you enjoy the daily picture on the side of the blog...I wanted to punch it up a little. Oh and I want to give a shout out to Jeff, who ever you are. See ya!
PS- I finally got that sneeze out!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
All is quiet on New Year's Day
Welcome to 2009 and Happy New Years! This looks to be a promising 12 months ahead. School is going well and I don't feel too overwhelmed yet, but that will change. I feel like this will be the year that the honor roll will continue to have my name on it and that is uplifting, inspiring for me to work harder. Way to be public school. Also, I plan to be more social this run around. In the beginning of 2008, it was just me with my mediocre life, no job, slumming grades, and no licence. Things weren't all bad but they could have been better. And they did get better and it seems to be a continuous pattern of good things. Now I realize I may have jinxed myself but who knows, we'll see. I have high hopes for 2009. My resolution has already been put into action and hopefully things continue to be, well, good.
Tomorrow's forecast: More fucking snow! Yup, your eyes haven't failed you..yet, more snow. Unfortunately this puts a wrinkle in my plans with Tara but we can improvise, maybe sledding or something wintry. So yeah, things seem to be doing well so far, cross those fingers. See ya and try not to freeze in this Arctic weather we've been having. See ya later!
Tomorrow's forecast: More fucking snow! Yup, your eyes haven't failed you..yet, more snow. Unfortunately this puts a wrinkle in my plans with Tara but we can improvise, maybe sledding or something wintry. So yeah, things seem to be doing well so far, cross those fingers. See ya and try not to freeze in this Arctic weather we've been having. See ya later!
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