BLah bLah BLoG

The word stress doesn't even begin to describe the feelings that are brewing the the coffee I need to be drinking.

I. Am. So. Done. With. This. Year.

There is just so much shit going on at once that my brain isn't equipped to handle. I cant even think clearly anymore.

I need someone/thing to come into my life, take the stress and work that goes along with college and my future and put it in fast forward for like 4 years. Then I'll be happy. It scares me to death thinking and planning where I'll be next year, 4 years, 5 years, 6 years from now. I don't know. It's all foreign to me. I've lived in the same town for my whole life. I've had most of the same friends, gone to the same places in town, had the same job, for a long time. Now I'm told I have to just walk away from it if I want to be a success. I do want to be a success but I also want to slow down a bit, take it at my own glacial pace. Then I can know what needs to be done.

Deep breaths.

Slow down. There are 8 trillion words working their way into one thought bubble at once. I cant breath.

Slow.

Slower.

Ahhhh.

That'll do.

I'm held in her nest. I've calmed instantly. I'm high off of her essence. It too is foreign. But this newness is welcomed with open sores, open heart, and open soul.

I'm okay. Just tired, overwhelmed, nervous, stressed, pissy, angsty, and emotional. Also known as an 18 year old living in middle class America with middle class petty drama bull.

Next year will transform my whole being. For the greater good of my sanity.

I hope.

G'night!